When i actually comes down to straight fact and actuality, there is not really a nice way to tell someone thy are wrong. People are not made to handle that kind of trauma repeatedly in life. I mean, maybe some people can but when you're repeatedly being told fix this or fix that, why did you do it that way? what is wrong with you, It starts the ticking time bomb for when that individual will explode. Here in come the idea of constructive criticism. It is possibly the best way to tell someone they are wrong or to change their ways. It detonates that time bomb for a bit, its like pulling the blue and green wire in a Hollywood production ( not sure which they pull so I guessed)
Having recently started a blog, I definitely opened myself to criticism without a doubt, but It definitely let me know how good criticizers my friends are. I got so much ideas on ways to improve my blog without the feeling of being violated (at least by their words). I did take some notes when I was getting criticized by them so that I can share with anyone who wants to give constructive criticism.
1. Always start your statement with "maybe" - feels like an idea instead of an order (inception)
2. Throw in a positive statement here and there.
3. Avoid using "BUT" by all means because it negates everything said prior
4. Ask what the criticized thinks about it or allow them to react
5. Do not reiterate the point ( a good inception need only occur once) also consistent criticism ends up pulling the red wire too which will also lead to an explosion.
6. Always precede and succeed criticism with positive actions or events or stories.
Hopefully you take these into consideration the next time you need to criticize a person.
Disclaimer: can only be used n logical people. illogical people just have to know they are wrong, in this situation make sure to find shelter for the explosion.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Motivation
After much pondering I have come to a conclusion as to what enriching exercise I will take on for a week. I considered very many options like :-
I. no blasting of music when I drive, but every time the beat drops on otis(new kanye and Jay Z) my fingers automatically go there. Besides I need a way to cover up my horrible voice and me ruining the lyrics
II. no cutting people off/ honking horn or flicking them off when people drive terribly but come on, that's too impossible, I drive in New York.
III. I considered nothing containing sugar, seemed like a good challenge so I'll save that for later
IV. Considered no foul language, but I sincerely think that words are words and nothing more, they are just stigmatized as a result of the society we find ourselves. ( no derogatory terms)
V. no saying pause or no freaky that one i will save for later.
I settled on something a bit challenging but sounds like fun. For the next week, I will read at least 10 different articles from 5 different sections of the New York Times every day. CAN"T WAIT ( Bart Scott)
With that decided, on the the actual posting. The word motivation to most kids under the age of 15 right now probably has no meaning, outside of kelly rowlands gentleman's club banger. No doubt that the new generation is o sex crazed but that's a topic for another day. Motivation to an adult varies between individuals. It is the little things that drive us, push us to get what we yearn for. The things that motivate us allow us to reach peaks that we never expected when we find the correct and effective way(s) of being motivated.
There is no doubt the great variety of ways that work for people. My question or confusion lies between the areas of positive vs negative ways of motivation. I have had an on-going argument with a friend over which is more effective. I am a extremely positive person so no doubt where my argument lies. I see how negative motivation could be good but nothing beats positive reinforcement. The thing about my argument is that although I will always stand by it, I have to question it.
So I explored the different reasons as to why I would choose positive over negative. The first thing that came to my mind is good vs evil. Ever since childhood we always have the idea that good(positive) prevails over bad(negative) pounded into every facet of our being. From wrestling to cartoons to movies. Could it be that I have subconsciously been tailored to believe that the negative is bad because it will always fail when compared to the positive? But although this has been sewed into the fabric that I call my livelihood, does good really prevail?
Its tough to think about but, does a serial killer lose if he is caught and put behind bars or sentenced to die? No. He/she wins because evil or negative does not care it gets the job done by any means possible. Although an argument that is supported by using a serial killer is not one I choose to follow. I guess Negative motivation can be extremely effective fr some people but I'll stick with positive. For Now..Joke
Off to read stephen hawkins book on a 'brief history of time, the universe in a nutshell', if you need reviews let me know.
I. no blasting of music when I drive, but every time the beat drops on otis(new kanye and Jay Z) my fingers automatically go there. Besides I need a way to cover up my horrible voice and me ruining the lyrics
II. no cutting people off/ honking horn or flicking them off when people drive terribly but come on, that's too impossible, I drive in New York.
III. I considered nothing containing sugar, seemed like a good challenge so I'll save that for later
IV. Considered no foul language, but I sincerely think that words are words and nothing more, they are just stigmatized as a result of the society we find ourselves. ( no derogatory terms)
V. no saying pause or no freaky that one i will save for later.
I settled on something a bit challenging but sounds like fun. For the next week, I will read at least 10 different articles from 5 different sections of the New York Times every day. CAN"T WAIT ( Bart Scott)
With that decided, on the the actual posting. The word motivation to most kids under the age of 15 right now probably has no meaning, outside of kelly rowlands gentleman's club banger. No doubt that the new generation is o sex crazed but that's a topic for another day. Motivation to an adult varies between individuals. It is the little things that drive us, push us to get what we yearn for. The things that motivate us allow us to reach peaks that we never expected when we find the correct and effective way(s) of being motivated.
There is no doubt the great variety of ways that work for people. My question or confusion lies between the areas of positive vs negative ways of motivation. I have had an on-going argument with a friend over which is more effective. I am a extremely positive person so no doubt where my argument lies. I see how negative motivation could be good but nothing beats positive reinforcement. The thing about my argument is that although I will always stand by it, I have to question it.
So I explored the different reasons as to why I would choose positive over negative. The first thing that came to my mind is good vs evil. Ever since childhood we always have the idea that good(positive) prevails over bad(negative) pounded into every facet of our being. From wrestling to cartoons to movies. Could it be that I have subconsciously been tailored to believe that the negative is bad because it will always fail when compared to the positive? But although this has been sewed into the fabric that I call my livelihood, does good really prevail?
Its tough to think about but, does a serial killer lose if he is caught and put behind bars or sentenced to die? No. He/she wins because evil or negative does not care it gets the job done by any means possible. Although an argument that is supported by using a serial killer is not one I choose to follow. I guess Negative motivation can be extremely effective fr some people but I'll stick with positive. For Now..Joke
Off to read stephen hawkins book on a 'brief history of time, the universe in a nutshell', if you need reviews let me know.
HealthCare Snafu 1
A lot of people I know seem to be oblivious about our current health care situation, okay maybe I'm not oblivious to the fact but maybe a nonchalant attitude. It is easy to overlook things when you feel powerless or that you will not be affected directly. I am by no means an expert in the current situation but I think I have observed enough so far to make a valuable argument about the situation. I will try to break this down ad make it a bit less complicated than the news.
There are a multitude of players in the health care system but I will focus on a few for the sake of simplicity. The individual/consumer/ everyone in the US
The physician
The government/ politicians
The insurance and pharmaceutical companies
1. The individual/consumer/ everyone in the US
The current health care reform a.k.a 'Obama care' intends to have most Americans covered under an insurance plan. The debate of private vs medicare/medicaid continues, that topic is one that I can talk about for days. Basically majority will be covered, but some people agree and some don't, bottom line is whenever an individual not covered under an insurance plan goes to the emergency room for treatment we all pay for it(tax)...so why don't we cover everyone. The biggest argument with this is that government will be taking too much of a role in health care. The reason I believe that is a good argument for the nay sayers is the sol reason that we live in a country of Democracy. It almost comes across like the current administration is slowly taking control away from the people, with the housing, wall street, the banks, now HEALTH CARE. Another thing that residing in the United States or anywhere in the world is that, you get the best...If and only if you can afford it ( lil wayne flies private jet but i travel southwest). So this creates a dilemma because there are no doubts about the good intentions but it seems like the stretch or power of the government is surpasses the strength or the ability of people to choose. This also beg the next question, If our current societal model supports the idea that people who can afford it(private insurance) get better care than those who are just surviving (medicare/medicaid), then can we EVER have equal health care??? here in comes the physician...
2. The Physician
There are very many health professionals but I want to focus on the doctors because I will be one( fingers crossed) and I feel that they are affected the most. After an undergrad degree and the MCATS we begin medical school. Tuition and cost of living ranging from 50k to 70k or more each year. These expenses mostly facilitated by loans for four years. Then you go through residency where you are likely to make minimum wage or less with the amount of hours you work, this lasts somewhere from 3 to 7 years. Then you finally enter your field, but you still have those loans plus interest, possibly a family and married (apparently that's what's hot in the streets). You now have to make a choice between working in an underprivileged community with very few individuals on private insurance or a wealth community with a lot of private insurance. I know what I would pick because I am not in the field for the money but I when posed with all these circumstances I can see why people desert the suffering neighborhoods. These communities that are underprivileged with increased rates of diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure will end up being treated in clinics by residents. So how do we solve this? increase reimbursements with medicare/medicaid to make it more attractive but instead these programs steadily get cut. These changes lead us down a broken spiral staircase that I like to call health disparity. The new health care changes will increase patients dramatically and might possibly lead to an increased burden on doctors to see more patients n a day, reducing the time spent with patients and reducing the quality of care. I have to add though that of recent the voice of physicians have started to grow and we are staring to get more involved in lobbying and creating physician friendly policies.
The truth hurts and in the case of health care the truth is that good quality care is expensive and if we want good quality for everyone we have to hurt a little bit in our pockets (taxes). And we have to inspire more young kids to get involved in pursuing careers in health care.
If you agree or disagree with anything let me know, there is a comment box for a reason ;)
There are a multitude of players in the health care system but I will focus on a few for the sake of simplicity. The individual/consumer/ everyone in the US
The physician
The government/ politicians
The insurance and pharmaceutical companies
1. The individual/consumer/ everyone in the US
The current health care reform a.k.a 'Obama care' intends to have most Americans covered under an insurance plan. The debate of private vs medicare/medicaid continues, that topic is one that I can talk about for days. Basically majority will be covered, but some people agree and some don't, bottom line is whenever an individual not covered under an insurance plan goes to the emergency room for treatment we all pay for it(tax)...so why don't we cover everyone. The biggest argument with this is that government will be taking too much of a role in health care. The reason I believe that is a good argument for the nay sayers is the sol reason that we live in a country of Democracy. It almost comes across like the current administration is slowly taking control away from the people, with the housing, wall street, the banks, now HEALTH CARE. Another thing that residing in the United States or anywhere in the world is that, you get the best...If and only if you can afford it ( lil wayne flies private jet but i travel southwest). So this creates a dilemma because there are no doubts about the good intentions but it seems like the stretch or power of the government is surpasses the strength or the ability of people to choose. This also beg the next question, If our current societal model supports the idea that people who can afford it(private insurance) get better care than those who are just surviving (medicare/medicaid), then can we EVER have equal health care??? here in comes the physician...
2. The Physician
There are very many health professionals but I want to focus on the doctors because I will be one( fingers crossed) and I feel that they are affected the most. After an undergrad degree and the MCATS we begin medical school. Tuition and cost of living ranging from 50k to 70k or more each year. These expenses mostly facilitated by loans for four years. Then you go through residency where you are likely to make minimum wage or less with the amount of hours you work, this lasts somewhere from 3 to 7 years. Then you finally enter your field, but you still have those loans plus interest, possibly a family and married (apparently that's what's hot in the streets). You now have to make a choice between working in an underprivileged community with very few individuals on private insurance or a wealth community with a lot of private insurance. I know what I would pick because I am not in the field for the money but I when posed with all these circumstances I can see why people desert the suffering neighborhoods. These communities that are underprivileged with increased rates of diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure will end up being treated in clinics by residents. So how do we solve this? increase reimbursements with medicare/medicaid to make it more attractive but instead these programs steadily get cut. These changes lead us down a broken spiral staircase that I like to call health disparity. The new health care changes will increase patients dramatically and might possibly lead to an increased burden on doctors to see more patients n a day, reducing the time spent with patients and reducing the quality of care. I have to add though that of recent the voice of physicians have started to grow and we are staring to get more involved in lobbying and creating physician friendly policies.
The truth hurts and in the case of health care the truth is that good quality care is expensive and if we want good quality for everyone we have to hurt a little bit in our pockets (taxes). And we have to inspire more young kids to get involved in pursuing careers in health care.
If you agree or disagree with anything let me know, there is a comment box for a reason ;)
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Dare to Dupe!
Funny thing I have always thought it was hilarious that people end up getting duped by the Internet scammers. Whenever I read or heard about a story, I just know my laugh bellowed for a while. My twin once was caught in a scam and I laughed without mercy at his expense. So it would only be right that I get caught in the web of the Internet scammers.
I had been searching for apartments in the Westchester area for about a week and it just seemed extremely expensive. Still, I had to peruse for the cheapest deal possible and after hours of searching on craigslist VOILA!! 1300 3br apartment in white plains NY. I had to get that, sent an email and got reply within few hours. The name listed n the Email Dafna Gorfinkle. As soon as I saw the name I smiled, that cannot be a real person can it? sounds like a name straight out of harry potter 8 (doesn't actually exist). But, hey its a cheap apartment so I'll check it out why not. Here's a summary of the email exchange
Izu I - Interested in 3br apt in white plains
D.G I - This email was the first red flag for me...sincerely after reading it I thought a Nigerian sent it.sincerely.It read , I work for USAID and work with people who are suffering from so many diseases and blah blah blah. alot of really good things but it was suspicious. My wife and I are located in Nigeria working and we are trying to rent the house all this good stuff.
Izu II - Now I'm a bit skeptical but I am till so curious a 1300 3br would be an amazing purchase but a guy named Dafna? I was caught up. so I replied 3 days later. Sorry for delay, but here's my info and phone number, call me so we can talk about the house because I would like to see the house.
D.G II - I am trusting God that you will take care of the house, the house is still available, my wife and I think you are an amazing candidate to be our tenant. Remember the deposit is 600 and the rent is 1300 but you can wait till a week after you move in to pay the rent.
DEFINITELY another red flag, what land lord in the world would ever ever ever do that? so now its getting comical, I know I am getting scammed or well, Dafna was attempting to scam me.
Izu III - Its great you do all these things with USAID. I am impressed. I am glad you accepted me as tenant. I am curious as to how I would get the keys to the house If you are all the way there and what did you move everything to Africa, and where are you. I need to speak to you asap.
Phone convo - Hilarious red flag number three because he sounded like a Nigerian who was faking his American accent so I break out n laughter over the phone. After allowing him to make up the place that he was from in the US, I asked him what his name meant. He stumbled over that, it was becoming comical. . He proceeded to explain that I would receive keys in the mail but I have to western union the deposit before the keys got to me, which was in two days since he already mailed them...red flag again... Then I broke it to him that I was Nigerian and I felt a shudder through his spine. Indeed his game was up and he knew it, I knew it too. He was an amateur at scamming without a doubt or maybe he just came across an observant person.
I do feel bad for everyone who has fallen to these scam artists.They prey on the weak, use religion to catch the devoted, are very desperate and more times than none they are Nigerian.
BUT I managed to rip through the webs of this Internet scam and my laugh still bellows!!!!
I had been searching for apartments in the Westchester area for about a week and it just seemed extremely expensive. Still, I had to peruse for the cheapest deal possible and after hours of searching on craigslist VOILA!! 1300 3br apartment in white plains NY. I had to get that, sent an email and got reply within few hours. The name listed n the Email Dafna Gorfinkle. As soon as I saw the name I smiled, that cannot be a real person can it? sounds like a name straight out of harry potter 8 (doesn't actually exist). But, hey its a cheap apartment so I'll check it out why not. Here's a summary of the email exchange
Izu I - Interested in 3br apt in white plains
D.G I - This email was the first red flag for me...sincerely after reading it I thought a Nigerian sent it.sincerely.It read , I work for USAID and work with people who are suffering from so many diseases and blah blah blah. alot of really good things but it was suspicious. My wife and I are located in Nigeria working and we are trying to rent the house all this good stuff.
Izu II - Now I'm a bit skeptical but I am till so curious a 1300 3br would be an amazing purchase but a guy named Dafna? I was caught up. so I replied 3 days later. Sorry for delay, but here's my info and phone number, call me so we can talk about the house because I would like to see the house.
D.G II - I am trusting God that you will take care of the house, the house is still available, my wife and I think you are an amazing candidate to be our tenant. Remember the deposit is 600 and the rent is 1300 but you can wait till a week after you move in to pay the rent.
DEFINITELY another red flag, what land lord in the world would ever ever ever do that? so now its getting comical, I know I am getting scammed or well, Dafna was attempting to scam me.
Izu III - Its great you do all these things with USAID. I am impressed. I am glad you accepted me as tenant. I am curious as to how I would get the keys to the house If you are all the way there and what did you move everything to Africa, and where are you. I need to speak to you asap.
Phone convo - Hilarious red flag number three because he sounded like a Nigerian who was faking his American accent so I break out n laughter over the phone. After allowing him to make up the place that he was from in the US, I asked him what his name meant. He stumbled over that, it was becoming comical. . He proceeded to explain that I would receive keys in the mail but I have to western union the deposit before the keys got to me, which was in two days since he already mailed them...red flag again... Then I broke it to him that I was Nigerian and I felt a shudder through his spine. Indeed his game was up and he knew it, I knew it too. He was an amateur at scamming without a doubt or maybe he just came across an observant person.
I do feel bad for everyone who has fallen to these scam artists.They prey on the weak, use religion to catch the devoted, are very desperate and more times than none they are Nigerian.
BUT I managed to rip through the webs of this Internet scam and my laugh still bellows!!!!
The "C word"
Before I start today's post I would like to just take a moment for my Grandmother who passed away today, may her soul rest in peace.
We have care for those who enjoy catering to the needs of others.Cooperation those who love to work in teams. Compassion for those who ca relate and put themselves in someones shoes. Career for the hard workers and goal oriented among us. The list goes on and on and on, but the 'C word' that I think is the most important in terms of connecting this large world that we occupy is CONSISTENCY. Let me explain.....
So start with one particular individual. All he/she has in terms of connections from the time of birth is their family. I mean your family could be enormous but the numbers that belong to any given family in particular are minute. The way in which an individual can get more connected to the world is through friends. If an individual has a family, and friends ad every family member and friend has friends who has friends....you get my drift. It's kind of the idea behind like a facebook or myspace ( I actually had and I think i still have a myspace, if I can remember password) except I'm talking of real life. An argument can be made for the populations who inhabit secluded parts of the world... the reason we know about them is because at least one individual has been there and back and made a connection. SO in a complex manner but with a simple example, we are connected to the entire world through friends.
This being stated, what in the world does CONSISTENCY have to do with it? Well think about people we consider our friends, how often do they change in their character? How often are we left in awe by their behavior? Not very often. To me the definition of a friend should be a consistent individual. I know maybe people change here and there as they mature and go through stages of their lives but they have those things that makes them stand out, that make us proud to say "that's my friend". And If you do not feel that way about a person then, they are not your friend.....directly. Their consistency of their inconsistency is probably admired by another individual who is somehow connected to you through another friend.
CONSISTENCY = FRIEND = CONNECTION
I know this sounds crazy!! but its my brain talking, deal with it. Seriously though I encourage comments, disagreements or if you think I posed this argument all wrong let me know!
To practice my consistency I will select an activity that I will do consistently for an entire week. The said activity for each week will be intended to make me better as an individual, so cannot wait to begin/blog about them.
We have care for those who enjoy catering to the needs of others.Cooperation those who love to work in teams. Compassion for those who ca relate and put themselves in someones shoes. Career for the hard workers and goal oriented among us. The list goes on and on and on, but the 'C word' that I think is the most important in terms of connecting this large world that we occupy is CONSISTENCY. Let me explain.....
So start with one particular individual. All he/she has in terms of connections from the time of birth is their family. I mean your family could be enormous but the numbers that belong to any given family in particular are minute. The way in which an individual can get more connected to the world is through friends. If an individual has a family, and friends ad every family member and friend has friends who has friends....you get my drift. It's kind of the idea behind like a facebook or myspace ( I actually had and I think i still have a myspace, if I can remember password) except I'm talking of real life. An argument can be made for the populations who inhabit secluded parts of the world... the reason we know about them is because at least one individual has been there and back and made a connection. SO in a complex manner but with a simple example, we are connected to the entire world through friends.
This being stated, what in the world does CONSISTENCY have to do with it? Well think about people we consider our friends, how often do they change in their character? How often are we left in awe by their behavior? Not very often. To me the definition of a friend should be a consistent individual. I know maybe people change here and there as they mature and go through stages of their lives but they have those things that makes them stand out, that make us proud to say "that's my friend". And If you do not feel that way about a person then, they are not your friend.....directly. Their consistency of their inconsistency is probably admired by another individual who is somehow connected to you through another friend.
CONSISTENCY = FRIEND = CONNECTION
I know this sounds crazy!! but its my brain talking, deal with it. Seriously though I encourage comments, disagreements or if you think I posed this argument all wrong let me know!
To practice my consistency I will select an activity that I will do consistently for an entire week. The said activity for each week will be intended to make me better as an individual, so cannot wait to begin/blog about them.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Definition of Me
What happens when you are able to start visualizing how immensely large, disordered but beautiful the world is in a really messed up way. How do you stand out amidst billions of people, so you can make a difference in the lives of many. Where do you begin when your urge to care for the masses is trumped by the fear of difficulty that may arise. When is it okay to act a certain way when our character transverses many different aspects of culture and society. Who is important in our lives and the devoir we have to them as part of our society and the world. Why is it that we all tether on the edge every day we embark in life but don't have a clue.
I always get a lot of flack for not including my who,what, where, when, why and how so i think that its a good way to start of my blogging experience. I hope that through my blog I will be able to address these questions or at least explore them in detail amidst talking about my immensely complex and sometimes confusing life. Another way I will address these questions will be to continue exploring the variety of ways that I can keep improving myself as an individual ( funny thing is I really do try).
It will be hard keeping up with the blog especially once second year of medical school begins but I hope that by then I will have an insatiable appetite for blogging, maybe some fans too, never hurts to have fans HA! Another goal is to not implicate myself in any manner or form since I DO have many large future aspirations. Its hard because I am sometimes eccentric and always outspoken but, I'll make it work. Last goal will be to avoid contradicting myself cos that's just straight wack.
I always get a lot of flack for not including my who,what, where, when, why and how so i think that its a good way to start of my blogging experience. I hope that through my blog I will be able to address these questions or at least explore them in detail amidst talking about my immensely complex and sometimes confusing life. Another way I will address these questions will be to continue exploring the variety of ways that I can keep improving myself as an individual ( funny thing is I really do try).
It will be hard keeping up with the blog especially once second year of medical school begins but I hope that by then I will have an insatiable appetite for blogging, maybe some fans too, never hurts to have fans HA! Another goal is to not implicate myself in any manner or form since I DO have many large future aspirations. Its hard because I am sometimes eccentric and always outspoken but, I'll make it work. Last goal will be to avoid contradicting myself cos that's just straight wack.
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